Video: A long line of teenagers dressed in Harry Potter uniforms walk into the Montana Vortex gift shop and proceed to the ticket booth.

Harry Potter Teen: Do I need to worry about soul-sucking dementors?

Clerk: The Montana Vortex and House of Mystery is known for its gravitational anomaly that defies the laws of physics and nature. It’s great quantum fun where you can meditate, hike, or have lunch. There are no dementors.

Harry Potter Teen: How about dark wizards? Voldemort? Spiders? Need I worry?

Clerk: Dear me, no. The Montana Vortex and House of Mystery is a whimsical optical illusion. It has a house built at 18 degrees that allows you to feel like you are shrinking and growing in size.

Harry Potter Teen: Ha! I can do that with a simple command!

Clerk: Dear boy, the Montana Vortex and House of Mystery is a place where magical gnomes, fairies, and unicorns visit. And we have a wonderful store full of treasures, T-shirts, hats, paintings, snacks, and jewelry.

Harry Potter Teen: Oh! In that case, a ticket for everyone, please.

Video: Harry Potter Teen buys tickets for the whole group and they enter door to tourist attraction. Harry Potter Teen walks up to a gnome and waves his wand.

Harry Potter Teen: Expecto Patronum!

Video: Several children dressed as gnomes run up to Harry Potter, Hermione, and Ron, holding out notepads and pens, while asking for autographs. The teens run up the path towards the house while the gnome children follow with excitement.

Harry Potter Teen:  (spoken while running towards the camera) The Montana Vortex and House of Mystery is open for business. Mention code “Lumos” and receive a 10% discount on any T-shirt [dates of promotion on screen].